"Lord, I hear of showers of blessings
Thou art scattering full and free
Showers the thirsty souls refreshing
Let some drops now fall on me. . .
Bless me
Protect me
Direct me
Even me, Lord"
My close girlfriend posed the question and I was speechless.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
We were discussing life and I told her that I was feeling behind. . . that I needed to make progress in order to feel more stable in some areas.
"You've already accomplished so much- in a year!" It was hard for me to hear this because I just wasn't seeing it that way, at the moment. She began to list things I had done and I slowly saw the light (lol). She was saying that if I felt like I still wanted or needed things, I should consider what I was asking for.
I told her that I didn't know where to start.
She caught me off-guard when she said that she wanted to share a scripture with me. It was John 15:7.
"If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you."
As many times as I've heard that verse in preached messages, Bible Study sessions, etc., I NEEDED to hear my friend read it to me- that night.
"Kara, I know that everyone has struggles. Everyone faces tests and may fall but if anyone is walking the walk and deserves to make requests, I think it's you!"
Hearing those words reminded me of the fact that sometimes I simply find it difficult to address my own desires. I admitted to her that I (very often) focus on other people- helping them however I can. . . but I don't always feel justified in making sure that I'm good. It's as though I'm choosing to give people full meals while I (sometimes) am eating scraps.
"You have to put yourself- first! You can't serve others if you're depleted. . ." I'd heard all of this but for whatever reason, hearing my friend/sister speak these truths hit me in a way I didn't see coming.
We talked about the fact that I told myself I was going to stop "playing small" in 2020. While there were certain opportunities that I embraced with open arms, there had already been moments where I was reluctant to do things for myself (like buying a new bed😞).
She gave me homework--> to seriously consider what I want for myself & report back to her in a month. I had/have (if I'm honest) to come to grips with the fact that there's nothing wrong with making my own requests known to God. I know that I have pure intentions and I'm striving to love & obey Him.
The very next day, I checked out a YouTube video that another friend had mentioned to me. In it, two married couples were describing various life experiences. Near the end of the video, the guests shared that (a couple of years ago) they had sat down and made a thorough list of things they were believing God to do for them. Out of everything on their list, there is only 1 item that has yet to come to pass!
Between the conversation with my friend and the YouTube video, the message was clear! I have some thinking, praying, and writing to do. I'm working on truly believing that it is not selfish of me to consider my own desires. I have to stop questioning whether or not I am deserving of God's blessings. I know His Will will be done.
I can still pray for God to open doors for people. . . even me!
I can still ask Him to bless. . . even me!
This week was a great reminder. As Mandisa sings, "Who knows how He'll get a hold of us? Get our attention to prove He's enough. He'll do and He'll use whatever He wants to. . . To tell us, 'I love You.'"
If we're friends in real life, I'm inviting you to hold me accountable. . . Help me to believe God for GREAT THINGS for His people. . . even me!
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